Can a Sailboat teach us how to Love?

“...Albania! Romania! Mongolia!” Tawni exclaimed from the helm of her 2006 Beneteau 42 (sailboat). She looked over at her friend and co-worker who had recently landed in Catalina from Mongolia. They work in the kitchen at the only restaurant/bar/cafe in Two Harbors, Catalina Island, with a motley crew from all over the world. There were 5 of us girls, without a man in sight.

As we bucked through waves, I leaned right and left to avoid nausea. Tawni’s friend was pale, holding her belly and her mouth. We were skirting a small storm on the water. It was just a little gray cloud, but it seemed to cold boil the water under us.

“Continue to take it wide, Boo Boo” Ammie, Tawni’s other half, sweetly guides. The pair is a consummate team on their gorgeous Sailboat named, Wolf Mother. They unfurled one sail, ropes unwrapping all around me. There is a strangely familiar sound: flapping of fabric in the wind like sheets on a clothesline. We are sailing halfway around the island, and I’m in a complete dream state on this vessel with these girls. We took off from the Pacific side, or the back side of the island, with uninterrupted views of the open ocean. I definitely felt small in the ways we do when confronted with that big blue void.

Tawni is a chef, working on her captain's license. Ammie, just got her captain’s license and took a seasonal job with the Harbor Patrol. Though the island offers steeply discounted dorms for all the workers, they opted to take a free (for employees) mooring on the back side of the island. It's just a short walk from the town.

Two Harbors is the locals only spot, boasting just one restaurant that is also a cafe and a bar and one general store. The Catalina Express from the mainland here in Long Beach doesn’t go to Two Harbors. Only one commercial boat, the Cyclone Power Boat, will take you there from the very touristy main harbor, Avalon. Its a 40 minute ride and it costs $37. There are no cars on the island, making a 14 mile hike the only “free” way to get from one spot to the other. Needless to say, it's remote. Most folks get to Two Harbors on a personal yacht and moor in the absolutely stunning cove, taking a dinghy or a paddleboard to shore if need be. In fact, that's what we did. 

We rode rough seas for 3 hours on Nancy’s 1984 Bertram 42 to get here, being tossed around like ice cubes in a cocktail shaker. Ammie’s flowing mermaid waves under a baseball cap was the first thing I saw as she pulled up to help us moor. We smiled at each other with a knowing glance. My bestie who tagged along yelled out to her, “its my first time mooring a boat!”

“That’s a pretty big boat for your first time,” Ammie replied with a wink. And we laughed about that exchange for the rest of the weekend.

The girls gave us the weekend of a lifetime. We sipped Painkillers, and avoided Buffalo Milks: Catalina island’s signature cocktail made from vodka, Kahlúa, crème de cacao, crème de banana, and half-and-half. It contains no buffalo milk for the record. We karaoke’d at the bar. We grilled steaks in the helm of Nancy’s boat. We partied with the other boaters until it seemed the entire harbor was three sheets to the wind. We paddleboarded to the shore. We dipped our heads in the water and chased garibaldis around the rocks. Then, to top it all off, we towed 3 paddleboards behind the dinghy two and a half miles around the island to land on the rocky beaches of Emerald Cove. Each paddle board carried one of us girls all the way there and back, in full sun, with an occasional unplanned dip in the ocean as the waves knocked us off the boards one by one. It was friendship bootcamp, and we were instantly enamored with the pair.

I’ve only encountered a handful of couples in my lifetime who were able to love each other as fully and seemingly effortlessly as Ammie and Tawni. But all couples battle their own headwinds at some point. In the midst of a temporary break up, Tawni bought a sailboat. She wanted to live aboard, but took temporary refuge at Ammie’s apartment. But after a flooding and then mold situation at the apartment, Ammie took refuge on the sailboat. Then, through tacks and gybs, heeling and righting, the everyday drama of sailboat life slowly taught them how to really fully love each other effortlessly.

“The boat brought us back together” Ammie admitted to me as she squinted into the shimmering horizon. Both girls wondered what a long life together might look like, seeking perspective from me. My wife and I will be celebrating our 12 year wedding anniversary this October, so I consider myself a bit of an expert. And in my not so humble opinion, the way they work together on the boat tells me all I need to know: It will be a good life together.

“Should I ask her . . . ?” Tawni wondered aloud one afternoon on the island.

“You should.”